Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Maverick Businessman

The year was 2007 and month January. 'You have to watch this movie' she said. The tone was joyous a bit nervous though. My wife had hurriedly come out midway from a movie and made this call. 'I am buying the tickets for the next show, I want to watch it again with you'. 'I'm sending Chuku and Kabu back with their Nani, bye the movie has started' the phone went silent.

The joy of relating someone from reel life to real life is unique. Not that I'm some hero or maverick or stud (I wish I was) but it sure felt nice when she made that comparison. In her mind the similarities between the hero and me were strikingly similar, both budding businessman with adoring and gorgeous wife. We as a couple had seen lots of ups and down together. Finally life was looking up. Our madness for each other had no bounds, it was only about talking, food, going out and sex. Money had been a constant problem, but for last couple of years things had been good in fact too good.

January 2012. 'Mummy I don't want to go back to India, I want to stay here' both Kabir and Radhika said in unison. Their voices barely audible amidst streams of tears rolling down their cheeks. India meant staying with Papa going to school, friends. It also meant lonely evenings, reproach full looks of aunts and uncles, cold beds, silence and a constant look towards the calender announcing the next visit dates of their friendly angel mommy.

One realizes one's shortcomings only when the one's who covered them go missing. I can go on with the blame game probably prove myself as wronged but realization my friends is a bitch. This bitch by the way barks and bites with equal gusto. Penning thoughts not for the fondness of them but to keep this gnawing bitch at bay becomes the only option.

Falling from that pedestal, that grace, where her life revolved around me to this uncaring, scarily lonely existence is this maverick businessman's earning. I still smile remembering she compared me to a hero and the very next moment these disloyal tears tell me what I lost. When my kids' cries of 'Mummy' haunt me at night, well those hopeless moments of despair are my earnings.

Maverick businessman!

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